This Tatreez is Messy
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like me
It’s messy like a thousand inconsistent stitches
It’s messy like a million strands of cat hair
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like colonial occupation
It’s messy like apartheid
It’s messy like a life of surveillance and control
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like white supremacy
It’s messy like perpetuating generational trauma
It’s messy like cognitive dissonance
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like genocide
It’s messy like toddlers with amputated legs
It’s messy like corpses rotting in the street being eaten by cats
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like a burning body yelling, “Free Palestine!”
It’s messy like dust-covered families buried under buildings
It’s messy like 2 million people being gleefully deprived of food
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like end-stage capitalism
It’s messy like maintaining the status quo
It’s messy like feeding the war machine
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like the mess we’re in
It’s messy like the earthquake of our awakening
It’s messy like our feelings of devastation and rage
This tatreez is messy
It’s messy like revolution
It’s messy like hope
It’s messy like new beginnings
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I will post another photo when it’s framed, but you can see I added a tribute at the bottom, which I will talk about in the next section. Stitching this cross-stitch (and I’m sure all future cross-stitch) was very meditative and helped me process my feelings about what is happening in Gaza and about Aaron Bushnell’s death.
🧿 Life Observations
How Can We Sleep While Our Beds Are Burning
Most of you probably did not read my previous post about self-immolation. Yes, I actually wrote about it back in March 2023. Here is a quote from it:
Here’s the full post in case you’re interested in what else I had to say:
And now a beautiful young man (Aaron Bushnell) has self immolated to protest what’s happening to Gaza as a result of Isreali disregard for Palestinian life and sovereignty.
To honor him, I watched the video (a censored version) he made for the world of his extreme protest. Even just the audio is powerful and chilling. While this human being was being consumed by flames, he continued to shout “Free Palestine” until he collapsed and died. Yet, one of the most disturbing things about this video is that a police officer - instead of offering aid to someone whose body is engulfed in flames - points a gun at him and does nothing else. Just stands there protecting the world from a man burning to death. I think this is the best metaphor for where the world is at.
I am devastated by what Aaron did. I’m crushed under the weight that this man must've been under. Crushed by a feeling of helplessness. Not because I don’t think he should’ve done it. But because now there is one less incredible human walking around this planet. We activists have vowed not to let his death be in vain.
And Aaron wasn't even the first to do this.
Activists are searching for information on the woman who self immolated in front of the Israeli consoluate in Atlanta in December also in protest over Gaza.
That’s two people who thought setting themselves on fire was the most effective way to draw attention to the carnage in Gaza in order to make change.
Some in the media (and supporters of Israel) will try to play it off as though Aaron was mentally ill, but his friends will tell you differently. He was a person with great moral conviction and a sense of justice about the world.
I hope we do not need any more extreme acts of protest, but I fear in order to combat extreme acts like genocide and the dehumanization of an entire population of people, we will need extreme reactions. I hope the next ones can involve massive peaceful protests instead of personal physical harm.
Where does peace come from?
Peace is not something we wish for. Peace is something we create. Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book The Art of Living: Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now, said:
If we want peace, we have to be peace. Peace is a practice and not a hope.
I have been chastised by other liberals/progressives/leftists for not being angry/outraged enough at conservatives and Trump supporters. Many liberals, progressives, and leftists (LPL) spend a lot of time online insulting conservatives and Trump supporters. Because, apparently, they think that will bring peace to America. Because telling someone their religion is fake and that they’re an idiot will surely help things. I’ve had LPL tell me they will never see conservatives as people worthy of their acceptance. That’s at least a quarter of the country. But that’s the same thing they say about LPL. So, how does it ever end? It only ends if someone does something differently. Just like I occasionally see supporters of Palestine say things like, “Hitler should’ve finished the job.” How will that ever lead to peace? If you don’t want people to be dehumanized, then YOU have to not dehumanize them. We can’t expect from the other side what we’re not willing to give. You cannot be a humanitarian if you don’t care about all humans. What you say out loud in public matters and is a reflection of your inner thoughts and feelings in that moment. A fleeting thought recorded on social media for eternity has an impact. Do those permanent mementos of your thoughts reflect who you really are? If not, why do you put them out there to spread negativity into an already negative atmosphere?
(A friend and I mused yesterday that perhaps it’s because so many people are emotionally stunted and unable to deal in a healthy way with their feelings.)
You can co-create the kind of world you want to live in. What you put out into the world through your thoughts, words, and actions is what you’re co-creating. So, what are you co-creating? And is it really what you want? A world full of assholes expressing their asshole opinions? Or a place that uplifts everyone?
If you’re not willing to be peaceful toward other Americans, do not expect them to be peaceful toward you. And some LPL tell me that’s OK, but it’s really not OK. If you think it’s OK, then you don’t want peace; you just want to be right.
Conservatives feel the same way about you as you feel about them - that you are pushing ideologies on them that are offensive and harmful and that threaten their existence in a meaningful way. As I’ve mentioned before, we need everyone on board and working together to make change. We should not confuse average Americans with the ones holding the power and making terrible decisions based on capitalist ideals. Most other Americans are just trying to survive and be happy, and if we listened to each other, we’d know that. They are afraid also. We need to fight the policies, not the people.
I just ordered a t-shirt that says “Let peace begin with me” because it is an idea I espouse and want to emulate. We have the power to create peace where there is none. We are empowered. Nothing is stopping us.
In the book Purposeful Empathy, author Anita Nowak writes:
At one point during my PhD studies as I was learning about the neuroscience of empathy, I found myself in a long queue at a FedEx store.
After an extended wait, I was greeted rudely by a sales agent. I could have easily snapped back at her but instead I tried something different. I took a deep breath, caught her gaze, and asked sincerely, "Are you OK?" After a pregnant pause, I watched her stern face soften and her eyes well up with tears."My kid is at home sick and I've been doing double-shifts for two weeks straight. It's 3pm and I haven't had a lunch break. I'm flatout exhausted, she sobbed. After a few minutes of venting, she regained her composure thanked me for listening and served me with efficiency and grace. Our exchange was brief but profound. And all these years later, I remember with fondness the spontaneous human connection we forged through a simple act of purposeful empathy.
This is what we need more of.
My friend said she once heard something she thinks of whenever she has a challenging encounter: “Assume everyone is in pain.”
📑 Project Updates
Making Art for a Great Cause
I’m a participating artist in Bridge to Rutland’s Arts Marathon fundraiser! Please watch my intro video:
Please sponsor me as we raise money to help asylum seekers!
Here’s the link to do that: https://bridgetorutland.com/arts-marathon-artist/2024-artist-elsie-gilmore/
My sponsors will get access to a private YouTube channel where I’ll be making video updates five times per week during the month of April. I’m so excited about how fun this is going to be!
⏰️ Currently
🌷 Sitting on my porch finishing this up and enjoying my pleasant outdoor space before it gets too hot here.
💋 Feeling the love as you amazing, generous people help me fundraise for Bridge to Rutland.
🥰 Thinking of all the cool cross-stitch projects I’m going to do this year.
Digging the poetry this morning.