You Just Have to Keep Going
Because you don't have any other choice
I still don't know how I will accomplish my goal of getting out of Florida and back to the Northeast in 2025. I'm still feeling blue about it. Honestly, I've been trying to do it for 4-5 years, and I'm getting discouraged. At this point, I just really don’t want my home base to be in Florida. I'm also still worried about my future (and present) income.
However, I used to think working for myself was more stressful than working for someone else because of the uncertainty, but I now realize that every job is uncertain. I know enough out-of-work people who can't find jobs to know this is true.
For this reason, it especially pisses me off that banks are so hard on me about mortgages because of my self-employed status. Anyone can get laid off at any time. I could possibly make double my income next year if I got the right client(s). There are few guarantees in life.
I'm an excellent risk, which shows in my credit score and payment history, and I will keep trying to convince anyone who will listen.
Other than continuing to pursue as much website work as possible, my main goal is securing a mortgage by any means possible so I can buy (or build) a house.
Three weeks ago, a house came on the market two doors down from the piece of land I bought in Troy, NY. It was an adorable two-story brick house for $150,000. And I had no way of getting it. The mortgage payment would’ve been less than my rent. It went pending very shortly. If I’d bought that house, I would’ve turned my little lot into a garden and invited the neighborhood in.
But alas… I have to continue to wait. Because I chose a less ordinary life.
I will try for a traditional mortgage, which is unlikely to work. I’m also working through the very long qualification process for NACA (Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America). Plus, there are some programs that are local to New York and Troy, NY, that I’m looking into. I simply have to make it work.
If I could crowdsource a house like I did three years ago, I can work another miracle next year.
🦩 Everyday Adventures
My Holidays
I was so fortunate to be able to spend Christmas with my family in Vermont/NY. I got to spend quality time with my middle sister and her husband, who I stayed with. I met my new great-nephew Carter and his mother. I saw another sister, her husband, and her grandson (another of my great-nephews).
Plus, I got to experience the magic of Vermont during the holidays: snow and cold. I did an incredible job of packing for the weather. Layers, layers, layers! On the coldest days, I wore a bra, t-shirt, thin long-sleeved layer, fleece, and coat. Plus, I brought a warm hat that covered my ears and very warm fingerless mittens. My hiking boots with wool socks and my EMS winter jacket both did a great job keeping me warm and comfy.
The downside of the trip was gaining a few pounds. There was lots of yummy food, but mostly, I did not move around at all while I was there. Weirdly, despite living in the “country,” there is nowhere to safely take a walk at my sister's house. She lives on a road with no shoulder, and people sometimes drive fast. With the snow, it's even worse. This is why I'm so grateful to live in a place that is so incredibly walkable. I need that built-in exercise.
I walked less than 2 miles the entire week I was up north. (My goal at home is 10 miles a week.) I'd really love to lose 10 pounds in the coming months as I'm now at what I consider my “max weight.” Ten pounds lighter would make me feel much more comfortable in my clothes.
So, all I need to do in the new year is make more money, get a mortgage, and lose 10 pounds. Easy peasy!
(UPDATE: I've already walked 8.5 miles as of Wednesday, and I think I'm down 1.5 pounds!)
Breeze Airways is a Hard Pass
Despite never having heard of them, I chose Breeze Airways for my trip up north because they had a direct flight to the airport where my sister preferred to pick me up.
It's a “nickel and dime ya” discount airline where even your carry-on costs money. I opted for extra legroom, along with my obviously mandatory carry-on bag. (Southwest is my preferred airline, and I never have to worry about this shit with them.)
The plane (an A220) seemed new, which was great, but the seats had a moronic “headrest" that jutted about four inches away from the seat back. Imagine your head being pushed four inches in front of your shoulders for 3+ hours. It's as bad as it sounds. If I were to sit straight up, like a human being should, the headrest would make it so my back doesn't actually touch the seat. Even using my folded-up fleece or travel neck pillow did not allow me to find any comfort. The headrest moved up and down a bit, but there was no position that allowed me to sit in a way that felt normal or comfortable.
To top that off, on the way north, without paying, you could only get water on the plane. Then, on the way back, the seat I was in was broken and would not recline, which made it even more uncomfortable. There was also no access to the onboard entertainment, which is supposed to be available on your phone. I'd even bought USB-c headphones specifically so I could take advantage of it. So I sat uncomfortably for three hours with nothing to do. It was pretty bad.
For this and other reasons, I got a banger of a headache the next day.
Due to the seats being cripplingly uncomfortable, I will probably pass on this airline next time. I'd prefer an airline whose seats were human tested and approved.
Kidney Update
My lovely hematologist sent me for bloodwork with enough orders to require about 17 vials of blood! I made them put me in a reclining chair at Quest.
I had my follow-up appointment with him last week, and despite a few numbers being elevated, he said I was likely fine. It could just indicate some remaining inflammation in my kidney as it heals from the damage. I'm going to get more bloodwork in 6 months to re-run a few of the tests. But I feel confident that all is good and it was just a kidney infection. (I mean, not “just" but a kidney infection caused by a UTI is better than an inclination for blood clotting that could require lifelong medication.)
On the bright side, almost all the blood tests I've done for this issue say I'm a super healthy person. Next up will be a cholesterol test to see how my own attempts at lowering it are going. (Plant sterols, guar gum, more fiber in general, exercise, etc.)
The End
In an effort to avoid putting the job on someone else, I’m making preparations for my demise. Namely, what to do with my body. I’m not 100% down with cremation. (I think a funeral pyre would use less energy and be much more exciting.) But at least a good portion of Vermont’s energy (which is where I’d like to be dealt with) comes from renewables. So, there’s that.
I’m going to purchase a beautiful urn to keep until the given time, and I’d like to be put in the ground with my ancestors in the cemetery in Tinmouth, Vermont. My namesake (my great-aunt Elsie Malona (Gilmore) White) is buried there with her husband, Fred. If there is room in their plot, I know my ashen remains would be happy there for eternity. There is room to add my name to their stone, which I think people will find interesting. They had no children, so I might need to add “great-niece” to avoid confusion.
Having this all dealt with in advance will assure me it’s done the way I wanted and that I didn’t bother anyone too much. Anything I can pay for in advance, I will because Goddess only knows what the situation will be like when the time comes.
Spoiler Alert
I watched a movie last night with an all-star cast that was very entertaining until the very disappointing ending. It was called Friends With Kids. This is the review I just left on IMDB. (I was so annoyed by the movie that I joined IMDB just to leave this review.)
This movie had so much potential. The idea of doing life differently? Fantastic. A creative solution to the societal pressure to get married and have a traditional family? Love it! The idea of a guy being a great friend but a terrible partner? So accurate. Very common. The situation not working out exactly as planned? It happens. OK, here's where the movie falls apart and clings pathetically to patriarchal tropes. She meets the greatest guy but can't stop thinking about the demeaning, degrading womanizer friend. And we're supposed to feel happy that they get together? We couldn't instead see her maintain her new sense of self respect? I haven't screamed at my TV this much in a while. This movie is from 13 years ago, and we can't see women as more evolved than this? Kristen Wiig's character wasn't done any favors either. And in the end, Hamm ends up looking like a good guy when he was a terrible person to her. The worst part is this was written by a woman. The even worse part is that she made her own character look like a pathetically weak woman with low self esteem and no self respect. I'd like to see the sequel from a year later when he's bored with her and starts f*cking the nanny. This movie was a complete fail for women and a great big win for misogynists.
It’s like 80’s era, “the good guy loses, and the bad guy wins” level shit.
⏰️ Currently
🧘♀️ Focusing on what I can control
🪐 Reaching out to the Universe for help to overcome the challenges in front of me
🚗 Feeling amused that I only drove my car 1,688 miles last year