Weathering the Weather
We've entered new territory
There is no more normal weather.
I think we can all agree that we've crossed over into a new realm.
I know it is hard for some people to comprehend, but climate change brings both drier and wetter weather. Rivers weren’t meant to handle the amounts of rain we now get at regular intervals. If Texans had looked to Vermont (or lots of places), they'd have been worried about existing so close to a river, especially one prone to flash flooding. (It’s coming out now that the camp asked for multiple exemptions from FEMA to keep the camp in the floodplain. People are going to get sued, but it won't bring back almost 30 children who floated away screaming and died horrible deaths.) Humans are not going to be able to coexist with rivers (or any bodies of water) the way we used to. Those days are gone. We need to learn and adapt.
Once a life-bringing resource, rivers now frequently turn into life-taking dangers. The damage done by the flash flood on the Guadalupe was worse than that of a tornado. It stripped the bark off trees, shredded and buried vehicles, and carried people tens of miles down the river.
Then, the same week, devastating flash flooding in New Mexico. At the same time, Tropical Storm Chantal was causing massive flooding in North Carolina. Then, 5” of rain fell in a few hours over Chicago, requiring water rescues. Then Vermont had another devastating flood on the same literal DAY as devastating floods the two years prior.
How does anyone even choose where to live anymore? Are fossil fuel companies in on the Christian nationalist end times wet dream? Or are they just allowing this to happen to hoard money? This will hit them, too. It will touch everyone. In the end, money won’t matter. This is why I don’t understand people who buy literal blocks of gold. What good will a block of gold do you when you’re starving? It would be better to have some chickens or a garden.
Because this weather is never going back to normal, neither will the cost of goods. Weather like this disrupts businesses, transportation, and distribution. Rebuilding is going to strain insurance companies to the breaking point. It’s not just Florida. These natural (or unnatural) disasters are happening all over the country. Eventually, insurance rates will go up everywhere and may not even be an option.
When will people realize that this is all caused by greed?
It's a lot to deal with on top of everything else.
Getting Left Out
One of the things I worry most about in the future is ending up alone. Not single. But alone. I have a community in St. Pete, but many of them are scattering. They see the writing on the wall and are getting the hell out of Florida. But I’m not sure I have the financial security to build a life somewhere else. I just keep thinking about how it's going to cost me around $2000 to move my stuff up north. That’s why I’m so determined to make sure what I'm going to is at least as good as what I've got.
I was moving up north to be closer to family, even though my family is not the super supportive, bond together, let’s get through this together type. One of the reasons to buy a house was to be able to invite people in, form community, make sure I have a chosen family, maybe get a roommate, or do some AirBNB of my extra room. It was to create a strong circle of people around me. I can’t do that with my small, one-bedroom apartment, and I feel adrift in the “new" St. Petersburg. So many of the generic, grassroots arts and activism are gone or have been co-opted. I don't feel as connected here anymore, and it's doubly hard in the summer when the heat and humidity give me migraines and extreme exhaustion. There’s so much I can’t participate in.
I've tried so many times to move up north. Even just going there in the summer is expensive. I've tried to find land to put an RV on in the summer. I've asked people for help. I just don’t know what else to do. This whole thing feels futile.
I'm so discouraged as I continue to search for a forever home that doesn't leave me alone.
The Apartment Solution
I could theoretically get an apartment up there, albeit probably one outside my financial comfort zone. There are a lot of unknown variables in doing that, though. The rent could be increased next year (or every year). The landlord could suck. The building could be noisy. I don't want to get into a situation where I have to move a lot because it's stressful and expensive. That's one reason I'm hesitant to just pick up and move. My solution has to be sustainable, or I'm just walking into a bad situation that could result in years of misery. At 52, I just don't think I can do it.
I have graciously been allowed to live below my means and be happy for so many years. I just don't know how much longer that will be possible. I'm actually paying more to live right now than I'd like to. I can always live cheaper, but I have to weigh that against my happiness. You might think that's a privilege, but I care about my mental health. Without quality of life, I don't have an interest in life. Especially as the world gets shittier, I'm unwilling to sacrifice my daily quality of life.
Then, as I type this, I feel selfish. Why should I feel comfortable when others aren’t? I should be doing something more. But what? I’ve done a lot of activism, and another reason I wanted to be up north was easy access to DC and NYC. How can I get involved up there if I can’t afford to live there? Or anywhere.
GenXers and Nihilism
GenXers are accused of being jaded and nihilistic, and for good reason. Many of us didn't think we'd live this long. Between nuclear threats, climate change, multiple global economic crashes, and just a general exhaustion from the swiftly changing technologies across our lifetimes, many of us were not thinking about retirement at all.
So, many of us didn’t make a good plan for that. We were living a full life and planning to get off the express train early.
I generally have some sort of plan for my life, though. But not right now. I have zero idea what’s next for me. My options seem limited (although not as limited as some). I hate not having a plan. It makes me less motivated to work. What am I working toward? I mean, I have plan ideas, but I don't have another actual plan to make my life sustainable. As the ultimate problem solver, I am usually pretty optimistic about figuring things out, but I'm feeling pretty tapped out of solutions.
But, I will say that I think the Universe saved me from a bad situation with that house. Even a good house will be expensive with the uncertainty of tariffs and weather. I don't have that kind of financial flexibility. It pains me to admit, but I’m not sure I can afford to own a house by myself anymore. I think that dream may be dead for me and many others.
And regardless of how much the house cost, my other expenses are in flux… mainly my health insurance and student loan payments. I am seeing that my entire healthcare subsidy could go away at the end of this year. I don't fully understand the math of it being better for health insurance companies if a bunch of people dump their coverage, but I'm sure their lobbyists have fought for what's best for them. Without a subsidy, my current insurance policy would cost around $950 per month. That’s $150 less than my rent. And, chances are, it would go up next year. There is still a chance I may be poor enough on paper to keep my entire subsidy, but I'm not sure yet.
Now, more than ever, is the time to stay healthy. Health insurance should never be a substitute for eating nutritious food and getting exercise.
My neurologist told me I was wise to be hoarding my Nurtec. Funny thing about Nurtec that I just found through my research is that it used to be the generic drug rimegepant. But then Pfizer bought the rights to sell it as a new drug in the US and abroad. The cost of Nurtec on GoodRX is $1000 because there is no generic. Except there was, but in order to make a fuckload of money, there no longer is. My blood is literally boiling over this information. Not to mention, Pfizer was paying kickbacks to get doctors to prescribe this expensive medication (that should cost next to nothing). There will be no generic for the already generic rimegepant until 2040. I fucking hate capitalism!
If I can't find a single way to make my housing situation sustainable, I might as well take the most epic international trip imaginable and then dive off the Cliffs of Moher (or the Cliffs of Insanity for you Princess Bride fans).
There are no windfalls waiting for me in life. I'm pretty sure no one is going to leave me a bunch of money in their will. I'm not even mad about it. I don't deserve it more than anyone else. I'm just saying that I don't really see how this all is going to work for me and many others, especially with corporations and billionaires, sometimes as an extension of my own government, trying to impoverish me.
My student loan is going to start accruing interest again on August 1st. They are still offering an income-based repayment that would keep my payments ridiculously low. (The good part of being broke on paper.) But I’d have to have a conversation with myself that I've had before. Do I try to make these income-based payments for the rest of my life while $50,000 in interest accrues, or do I just start using my cash to pay off the debt? Choosing the first option is an assumption that one of our next presidents won't be an even worse tyrant who will eliminate income-based payment plans altogether. The second option makes it even harder to buy a house.
It would be fun to be debt-free again for the second time in my life. It's terrible for your credit, though, because we live in Backwards World where being responsible with your money is punished.
⏰️ Currently
Feeling grateful for Nurtec as I sit here with a migraine.
Feeling frustrated that I'm in Florida this summer, as I sit here with a migraine caused by the heat.
Still living with my boxes after looking at the reviews for the local storage places.