The Death of Creativity
How capitalism encourages you to conform
Last week, I went to a presentation given by my friend Laura Oldanie, who co-wrote the book Growing Free: Financially Resilient and Economically Empowered, which was recently published. Buy it here!
One thing she said that I have always believed (yet sometimes forget) is that the less money you have (or the more you’re trying to save), the more creative you get about your needs and goals.
What she said was that capitalism kills creativity. Now, there are several ways that is true. First, the way I mentioned… that when you have more money, you spend it more flippantly, and you buy “the thing” instead of perhaps making the thing or buying a second-hand thing (or even borrowing the thing if that’s feasible). She mentioned that, for instance, when you’re part of a time bank and earning some of your “wealth” by co-participating in time bank tasks, you’re also building your social capital. But what she really meant was that capitalism - when we get sucked into its vortex - steals all the free time that people need to be creative. Busy people are rarely creative. (Unless what they’re busy at is BEING creative.)
What we don’t realize is that we are not required to get sucked into the capitalism vortex… at least not completely. We can choose alternatives to many of capitalism’s “requirements.” Many people do. They live communally. They bank with local credit unions. They join time banks. They salvage things from alleyways.
Capitalism WANTS to kill our creativity so that instead of buying the used item that we can then spruce up, we think we have to buy the new one that is much more expensive and puts us in crazy debt (or just wastes our hard-earned money).
As you might know, I’ve been having a boner over buying a new van to turn into The Hugmobile. I would’ve 100% considered a used one, but there aren’t any of this model. A new commercial van is not cheap and neither is even lightly converting it for travel.
Last night, I was sitting in bed thinking about all that money and about Laura’s talk, and I grabbed a notebook I keep on my night stand and started doing some calculating. I have 3 pretty certain project proposals I’m getting ready to write. All that money was to go toward outfitting the van. Buying the van would drain some of my savings. What are my long-term goals? Is this van needed? I really, really, really want it, but my original goal was to crowdfund for it, and that didn’t work.
One exercise I like to do is to take the cost of something and convert it into the cost of something else. So, let’s say my goal is to travel around the country in a vehicle, seeing things I’ve never seen, visiting people, setting up free hugs events, hiking, etc. I would LIKE to do some camping, but that is not necessarily 100% necessary to accomplish this goal. (And could also be done at “glamping” sites.) So, let’s say the cost of the van plus conversion is $70,000. That is probably a low number, but let’s stick with it.
So, let’s just use a number to represent hotel or AirBNB night stays. I’m going to use a kind of high number of $150 per night. If, instead of buying a new van, I stayed in hotels or AirBNBs while traveling, I could stay 466 nights in lodging. That’s like one monthlong trip every year for 15 years staying in a place that is $150/night or less.
Alternately, that $70,000 also equals one month or more in an AirBNB each year up north (at around $3000 a pop)… for 23 years in a row.
I know some people travel for months while sleeping in their Prius, but that doesn’t work for me. My current vehicle just does not have enough space to not seem like a hassle to camp long-term in. (I’ve never been a tent camper, am pretty tall, and just need space and a certain amount of convenience to be happy. It’s just who I am.)
So, while I really, really, really want this van, I feel like I should keep that money in my savings so that it will grow and can be used more flexibly if plans change. It doesn’t stop me from traveling; it just requires that I travel differently than originally intended.
I’m going to turn my current vehicle into a “booth” I can use at events (or anywhere) to give hugs. I have some great ideas so far… creative ones!
In the future, I might find a different vehicle that does the job I want it to do but for much less money. But, for now, I will focus on saving for the future.
(By the way, if anyone wants to donate to or sponsor The Hugmobile in its current or future form, please get in touch!)
See Yourself As Worthy
This is an actual conversation I had with myself on a recent morning walk.
*spots a quarter and a dime on the ground*
“Ooh, someone lost some change.”
*bends down to pick it up*
“Should I leave this here? Someone else might need it more than me.”
“But what if the next person that comes by is a jerk who doesn’t need it but takes it anyway?”
“Maybe I’ll see someone up the street who needs it, and I can give it to them.”
“Either way, I do spend my money thoughtfully and am very generous so I should probably just take it.”
“Do I think I don’t deserve this 35 cents????”
*takes the coins home and puts them in the coin jar*
Yoga
Even into my 30s, I never thought I'd be someone who did yoga (especially in my 50s). I was never overly comfortable with my body in public settings, and I'm not very flexible. I also wasn't from a family of people who were comfortable with their bodies. We were the kind of women who looked the other way if a female relative was changing. In contrast, the wealthy woman my mother worked for as a nanny sent me off shopping in Long Island with one of her friends who took me into the changing room while she tried on bras. It was just normal and natural for her. There was nothing “bad” about me seeing a woman’s boobs or body.
In some ways, I thought yoga was too “woo woo” for me. I mean, wouldn't going to the gym be more effective?
I was a gym rat in my 20s and even took some strength classes, but they didn't require any coordination, and I still always stayed in the back of the class.
I thought if I couldn’t do every pose and look like a rock star doing it that I shouldn’t be in yoga. But why would a rock star be in my yoga class? Wouldn’t it be other people practicing to be better at yoga? I expected to feel awkward and inadequate, and I probably did at first.
But now I don’t give a fuck. I go to classes that feel comfortable for me and do the best I can. I can feel myself getting stronger, and it feels great to push my body to do more. Plus, I benefit from the community aspect and the meditative feel of yoga.
My Alexa Devices
I may have mentioned that I totally geeked out over my friend, Joe’s, Alexa devices in Maui. I was most interested in how I could use them to stick to healthy habits.
I ended up buying an 8” Echo Show device for my living room and an Echo Dot for my bedroom. (Along with some smart bulbs.) You might find it interesting to know that I set the living room one to respond to “Echo” and use a female British voice and the bedroom one to respond to Ziggy and use a male Australian voice. (Listen, it’s nice to have a man in the bedroom.)
You might also recall that I once announced very loudly that I would never speak to my electronics.
I cannot guarantee that it is Ziggy, but I’ve been sleeping better. I’ve been trying to practice better “sleep hygiene” (getting off my phone earlier in favor of reading), but I haven’t been religious about it. But I programmed Ziggy to respond to “Ziggy, good night” by turning off my bedside lamp and starting up very low “meditation” music that plays all night.
Also, of note is that I bought a beautiful cell phone stand in Maui that, once hooked to the charging cable that is weaved through it, is very hard to remove - making it a pain to have an idea after I get in bed and just mindlessly grab my phone WHICH I WOULD DO VERY OFTEN. I put a small notebook next to my bed instead.
I’ve also started doing yoga twice a week. I’ve also got some exciting things going on in my life. Somehow, combined, these things are helping me sleep better. I’m not sleeping LONGER, just better. And I’ve having tons of dreams, some of which compel me to get out of bed even if it’s still dark out, find my dream notebook, and write them down. The last one was about toilets. In fact, I’ve had a lot of dreams in my life about not being able to find a private toilet. I do not know what that means.
I will say that two of my sleep issues are that sometimes I wake up because the cartilage in my ear hurts, and sometimes because my jaw hurts. I feel like those two issues may phase in and out for the rest of my life.
But right now, I seem to have hit on a formula that is really helping the bags under my eyes. I think, in some ways, I suddenly feel like I have more to wake up for, also.
The other best benefit of my Alexa devices is seeing all the photos scroll by on my Echo Show of the amazing people and adventures in my life. When I see them, I smile at the life I’ve chosen to live - even though it hasn’t gotten me exactly where I want to be. But what is a responsible life if it is not well lived?
Currently
Loving this article about non-conformity and how to live “differently”.
Anxious to start the certificate program in Strategic Storytelling I registered for through Cornell! New skills! Yay!
Grateful to have been sought out to give FREE HUGS at this weekend’s Awakening into the Sun festival! Find me there and at the studio tour if you’re in the area.

