On Tyranny, Imposter Syndrome, Alcohol, and Blind Trust
The book that terrifies and inspires me and how many of us are already primed to comply
To clarify something I said in my last newsletter about Ukraine… just because I think people are generally stupid doesn't mean I think they're generally bad. I think most people are inherently good and doing the best they can.
Also, while I can't save you from environmental devastation, I will defend you against a tyrannical government. And I will help you as best I can survive any bad thing we all go through. I’ve just decided it’s not my responsibility to always be the responsible one. I’m not the problem and neither are you. The problem is greed, and it’s gotten away from us, and unless we all pick up pitchforks and torches, we’ve resigned ourselves to what’s coming. (Tyrannical, oligarchical government and environmental devastation caused by the oligarchs’ need for greed.)
I've been reading On Tyranny (the nice graphic version illustrated by Nora Krug). (Amazon link for reference only. Please buy it at your local bookstore.) It’s very short and to the point, and it’s basically about how to be a good citizen, human, and neighbor. I highly recommend everyone read it and give it to everyone you know - the sooner the better! If we can’t learn to get along on this planet, we’re going to destroy ourselves and the future of our species. For those with short attention spans, I include the major points below.
Here is the advice that is elaborated on briefly in the book:
1. Do not obey in advance. Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do.
2. Defend institutions. It is institutions that help us to preserve decency. They need our help as well. Do not speak of “our institutions” unless you make them yours by acting on their behalf. Institutions do not protect themselves. So choose an institution you care about and take its side.
3. Beware the one-party state. The parties that remade states and suppressed rivals were not omnipotent from the start. They exploited a historic moment to make political life impossible for their opponents. So support the multi-party system and defend the rules of democratic elections.
4. Take responsibility for the face of the world. The symbols of today enable the reality of tomorrow. Notice the swastikas and other signs of hate. Do not look away, and do not get used to them. Remove them yourself and set an example for others to do so.
5. Remember professional ethics. When political leaders set a negative example, professional commitments to just practice become important. It is hard to subvert a rule-of-law state without lawyers, or to hold show trials without judges. Authoritarians need obedient civil servants, and concentration camp directors seek businessmen interested in cheap labor.
6. Be wary of paramilitaries. When the men with guns who have always claimed to be against the system start wearing uniforms and marching around with torches and pictures of a Leader, the end is nigh. When the pro-leader paramilitary and the official police and military intermingle, the end has come.
7. Be reflective if you must be armed. If you carry a weapon in public service, God bless you and keep you. But know that evils of the past involved policemen and soldiers finding themselves, one day, doing irregular things. Be ready to say no.
8. Stand out. Someone has to. It is easy to follow along. It can feel strange to do or say something different. But without that unease, there is no freedom. Remember Rosa Parks. The moment you set an example, the spell of the status quo is broken, and others will follow.
9. Be kind to our language. Avoid pronouncing the phrases everyone else does. Think up your own way of speaking, even if only to convey that thing you think everyone is saying. Make an effort to separate yourself from the internet. Read books.
10. Believe in truth. To abandon facts is to abandon freedom. If nothing is true, then no one can criticize power because there is no basis upon which to do so. If nothing is true, then all is spectacle. The biggest wallet pays for the most blinding lights.
11. Investigate. Figure things out for yourself. Spend more time with long articles. Subsidize investigative journalism by subscribing to print media. Realize that some of what is on the internet is there to harm you. Learn about sites that investigate propaganda campaigns (some of which come from abroad). Take responsibility for what you communicate to others.
12. Make eye contact and small talk. This is not just polite. It is part of being a citizen and a responsible member of society. It is also a way to stay in touch with your surroundings, break down social barriers, and understand whom you should and should not trust. If we enter a culture of denunciation, you will want to know the psychological landscape of your daily life.
13. Practice corporeal politics. Power wants your body softening in your chair and your emotions dissipating on the screen. Get outside. Put your body in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. Make new friends and march with them.
14. Establish a private life. Nastier rulers will use what they know about you to push you around. Scrub your computer of malware. Remember that email is skywriting. Consider using alternative forms of the Internet, or simply using it less. Have personal exchanges in person. For the same reason, resolve any legal trouble.
15. Contribute to good causes. Be active in organizations, political or not, that express your own view of life. Pick a charity or two and set up autopay.
16. Learn from peers in other countries. Keep up your friendships abroad, or make new friends abroad. The present difficulties in the United States are an element of a larger trend. And no country is going to find a solution by itself. Make sure you and your family have passports.
17. Listen for dangerous words. Be alert to the use of the words extremism and terrorism. Be alive to the fatal notions of emergency and exception. Be angry about the treacherous use of patriotic vocabulary.
18. Be calm when the unthinkable arrives. Modern tyranny is terror management. When the terrorist attack comes, remember that authoritarians exploit such events in order to consolidate power. Do not fall for it.
19. Be a patriot. Set a good example of what America means for the generations to come.
20. Be as courageous as you can. If none of us is prepared to die for freedom, then all of us will die under tyranny.
Fear of Messing Up The Page
One reason I like paper collage is because I don't have to write on the page. I can write/draw on other things and stick those up the page. That way, if I make a mistake, I just won't stick it to the page. I think this way of working makes me feel safe, and I've no idea how artists put pen or paint to paper without this fear.
I'm sure this goes away with time and confidence, but right now I'm really feeling it. When I design something online, I can “undo” to my heart’s content, backspace, erase, erase a layer, edit, edit. But not on paper without starting over from scratch.
My Relationship With Alcohol
I’ve been thinking lately about giving up alcohol altogether. I am seeing a lot of people around me do this and not just people with addiction issues. I think people are starting to see that drinking daily has become socially acceptable and even encouraged in this country. Not by doctors, of course. But by absolutely everyone else, including your friends, family, and almost everyone you know. Alcohol is a slow-working poison that has a strong relationship to many cancers and the chance of you getting or surviving them. My “joke” is that for every 5 new booze joints that go up in St. Pete, I hope a new oncologist comes into town. There’s booze at the hair dresser, booze at the nail salon, and booze at the clothing stores here. Society has decided that no adult activity can be undertaken without alcohol.
My relationship with alcohol has had its ups and downs. I had my first drink at age 15 at my sister’s wedding. Did I start off small with just a sip of champagne or beer? No. One of my brother’s friends had brought Sloe Gin. Mixed with OJ, this tasted like dessert. (That’s called a Sloe Screw, by the way.) I ended up wasted and fell backwards into a garbage can. But I had a really good time and was probably much less self conscious than I normally would’ve been. I caught the bouquet and danced with a cute friend of my siblings.
Thus began a cycle of alcohol abuse that was pretty consistent until the end of my 20’s. Let me tell you what made drinking so appealing to me. Because of my situation at home, with my mother gone and my other parent being unable to give physical or emotional affection, my supply of “feel good” chemicals was undoubtedly constantly depleted. When I look back, I see all the things I did to try to replenish these, and drinking was one of them. I didn’t know any of the healthy ways to do that. The other reason to drink was that I always felt so much responsibility - for raising myself, making sure I got all the things I needed, helping my father, then supporting myself, trying to navigate my emotional 20s, etc. When I drank, I got to forget about all my burdens and just be in the moment. Drinking was a temporary escape from my unhappiness.
When I moved to Florida, I initially lived with someone who didn’t drink. During this first year and a half, I went out occasionally, but I got out of the daily habit of drinking. That relationship turned out to be very dysfunctional, and I did start boozing it up again for a while after it ended. But eventually, I realized that I needed a different coping mechanism because that one was really bad for me (and terribly counterproductive). So, I made a deal with myself that I would never drink when I was in a negative mood, and I adhere to that still.
Doing this one thing changed my life in incredible ways. It forced me, when I had a problem, to stay clearheaded and deal with it. Drinking was a procrastination against facing difficult issues, and I removed that option from my toolbox.
Later, when I had chronic migraines, I drank very little because drinking could cause or exacerbate a headache. It was very random, though. Sometimes one beer would make me feel miserable and sometimes I could drink liquor all night. The randomness made me drink a lot less because I was highly pain avoidant.
I feel grateful for my ability to make these choices, whether to drink or not. I have had people in my life - friends, relatives, lovers - who have a much more difficult time making and sticking to those choices. I don’t judge them. They have their own issues to deal with, and I know they are trying. I love them and want them to be healthy.
Fast-forward to today. I don’t drink much or often. But at least 50% of the times I do, I forget what a lightweight I am and drink too much (which isn’t a lot at this point). It can also still give me a headache under the right circumstances. But the one reason I hesitate giving it up completely goes back to my feelings of responsibility. Sometimes I can be a very serious person, and as a friend recently pointed out, I do put a lot of pressure on myself to be responsible. Growing up, I didn’t have anyone reliable in my life, so I had to rely on myself. And to this day, if I drop the ball, there’s no safety net. (Even though there really is one because of the wealth of human resources I’ve built up around myself, but there isn’t in the traditional way that there is for some.)
So sometimes when I drink, it lets me loosen up just a bit and enjoy myself and forget about all the responsibility I put on myself. I don’t feel bad for saying that, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me for feeling that way.
But another part of me really wants to stop paying to be slowly poisoned. I don’t know one person who drinks as little as doctors say is a “healthy” amount of alcohol. It’s at EVERY event, EVERY business, EVERY corner. It was pretty much an epidemic in my hometown, and now I feel like the whole State of Florida is getting cirrhosis together.
What about you? Do you have any new/different feelings about alcohol?
Member Interaction
I sent out some interactive postcards to members a few weeks ago and have received a few back. Here’s a sampling!
FREE HUGS this weekend!
Don’t forget to join me this weekend (March 19-20) for FREE HUGS at 538 28th Street North in St. Petersburg, FL! I’ll be there with open arms on Saturday from 1-3 pm and on Sunday from 10 am until noon. I’ll be livestreaming my hug sessions and taking photos if you want one. Here are all the details on the studio tour.
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