Having Hope and Feeling Courageous
We all need to try to feel things things every day
Honestly, having hope requires courage these days. It’s an act of bravery, of resistance against the bottomless pit of despair we could be in. But we must have hope, or we will give up. I’m sure many people have given up. We need to lift them up and help them feel hope again. We need to lead by example to show them that many people are still good, still trying, still putting positive energy out into the world. Not the “toxic positivity” of never acknowledging the bad things going on, or never acknowledging that we feel drained, or never complaining. We need the kind of positivity that says we can make a difference, no matter how small; people are making a difference, people are resisting fascism, we can resist fascism, we can protect each other, we can have empathy and love, etc.
As someone with anxiety, my mind tends to focus on what’s wrong because my mind wants to prepare for those things going wrong. I am a problem solver, so I look for the problems that need solving. But sometimes I need to say “enough.” I need to stop focusing on what could go wrong (or is going wrong) and focus on how to keep my brain in hopeful/courageous mode. Because if I can keep my brain in hopeful/courageous mode, I might inspire others to be hopeful and courageous, too. And I definitely want to do that.
I have given up at times. Because I’m tired. But I eventually kick myself into gear and remind myself how much courage I’ve had in the past to keep going even when it was difficult. Having courage is hard, but it’s worth it and necessary.
Opportunities
I’ve always known getting clients is a long game, so I was happy and not too surprised when a potential client contacted me last week. We had been connected by a friend/colleague of mine. He seems like a really cool guy, and I’m excited about the opportunity to work with him. It would sure help me reach some financial goals to get his business. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for me.
Another opportunity I’m pursuing is a YouTube channel. A friend encouraged it, and I do think it’s a good fit as I’ve done YouTube videos before. I would just need to be consistent about it. If I can be, it has the potential to grow into something worthwhile.
Making videos requires mental and emotional energy, so one thing I need to do is figure out the best way to motivate myself to make them regularly.
Arts Fundraiser for Asylum Seekers
For the second time, I will be participating in the Bridge to Rutland Annual Arts Marathon. It’s a fundraiser to support their work helping settle asylum seekers in my hometown of Rutland, Vermont, and supporting them along their journey. When asylum seekers first come to the U.S., they are not allowed to work right away. But they still need a place to live and basic living essentials, including food. Bridge to Rutland uses community resources to help them get what they need. Then, once they’re able, they are assisted with getting job skills and finding work.
For this fundraiser, I will be working on collage art every day throughout the month of April. I will share videos with my sponsors, probably 5 days a week, via YouTube videos sent by email. It’s really fun, and you can respond to my emails with comments or comment on my YouTube videos. It’s a great way to help asylum seekers and support artists.
If you’d like to sponsor me for this fundraiser, you can follow this link.
You can also sponsor any of the other artists as well.
Going Back to Virginia
I’ll be going back to Virginia the first week of May to check out Richmond. I’m using AirBNB again, but I’m continuing to use it as ethically as possible by only renting space in a dwelling in which the owner lives. That is its highest and best use and purpose. The man who lives there looks like a really interesting dude, and I’m looking forward to picking his brain about Richmond.
(The reason I am unhappy with AirBNB is that they continue to let illegal settlers in the West Bank make money off their stolen land. There’s an animation in this Guardian article that does a great job of explaining it.)
I’ve been putting off making this reservation because I feel a bit paralyzed by circumstances, but I got up the courage to do it and then felt glad that I did.
This Shit Ain't Sexy
I've already given you the TMI on vaginal atrophy, so I won't go into detail about that again. But I will tell you about the treatments I decided on. First, there's cream for the outside that is pretty required at this point. I do that twice a week. The other issue is the inside. At first, I thought I could help that by masturbating a few times a week. (There's science behind it.) That went well for a few months… until the Epstein files came out. You know, it's difficult enough to get turned on just with the billionaire and capitalist bullshit in the world. But now I have to find the motivation to masturbate knowing all that stuff? No. It's not possible. So now I also put the cream on the inside twice a week using an applicator.
Food Security
I saw something online recently about sprouting, and it motivated me to buy some sprouting seeds to keep for emergencies. They’re so easy to store and provide great nutrition, whether you’re in an emergency situation or not.
All you need to grow sprouts is a Mason jar and the right lid attachment.
When I was in Vermont, it felt nice to grow sprouts in the winter when nothing else would grow. (Although, to be fair, you can grow things from veggie scraps on your windowsill, including lettuce, scallions, onions, and garlic.)
⏰ Currently
🦋 Slowly emerging
🧘♀️ Trying to stay present in life
📰 Staying aware of what’s going on in the world