The Myth of DEI

Sometimes we give more credit than is due to DEI efforts

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

I'm reading two different books that talk about how DEI efforts in institutions and companies have mostly helped the already well-to-do and haven't led to significant benefits to the marginalized populations they purport to help. As we've seen with many companies who recently rolled by DEI because of Trump, many DEI efforts are done merely for marketing and PR.

Ransby says the "diversity, equity, and inclusion" approach of academic institutions creates "a kind of cosmetic diversity," but she stresses that those who are included are expected to conform to the norms of the institutions that have deigned to include them, rather than rocking the boat or expressing their own values.

From the book "Let This Radicalize You" by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba

From race to gender to sexual orientation and even disability, the DEI stats that come out of institutions and companies may not tell an entirely factual story of how much the company embraces diversity or lifts up marginalized people.

Furthermore, according to Musa al-Gharbi in “We Have Never Been Woke”, many folks in professional and creative fields focus on their minority status to get hired, make more money, or gather more prestige. Whereas less affluent people with the same characteristics often try to hide them when applying for jobs or in their social network, victimhood tends to carry a kind of cache in more elite circles.

This book is really challenging many of my previously ingrained mindsets.

👀 Life Observations

Dying for Sex

I'm watching the new Hulu series, “Dying For Sex.” I love that it’s a story about how much women love sex, want to have the kind of sex they want, and become empowered to ask for what they want in bed. It's also about not wanting people to feel pity for you and about wanting folks to respect how you communicate with people about your illness.

I was a people pleaser in my 20s because I just really wanted guys to like me. Like the main character, I had a lot of unsatisfying sex because I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted. I gave a lot of sex to guys and gave them a lot of orgasms while they gave me none. Then in my 30s, the experience got more equal as I got more confident. Then in my 40s, I dated two guys who were people pleasers. Not on purpose. I was lonely, and it just happened that way.

The sex was amazing, but here’s the difference: when men have sex with people-pleasing women, the women may never orgasm. But the people pleasing guys I was involved with had tons of orgasms, often several during our hours-long sex marathons. I sometimes joke that I was taking advantage of these guys, but they got a lot out of it and were not complaining… because people pleasers. (The biggest problem with people pleasers is that they're terrible in relationships, so the great sex was cut short.) It's fascinating how I came full circle, and I hope the next relationship I'm in will be the healthy center of all my past experiences.

Anyway, this show is great and poignant, and the main actress (Michelle Williams) is fantastic in this role. I also like Jenny Slate, but I'm not a fan of Jay Duplass because his character was such an entitled prick in Transparent (and ain't much better in this).

The Ongoing Shitshow of Getting Older

If anyone had told me I would feel like shit pretty regularly after 40, I might have done things differently. Maybe lived more dangerously and tried to die young. My body is not a good body. I just recently got new glasses to improve my work posture at my desk, and it worked! After about a month with them, I went 19 days without treating a migraine. (Previous norm was once a week.)

Then I woke up later that week with a muscle pain in my upper glute. The next day it was worse. Then it radiated up under my ribs in the back. Then turned into a lower back ache. So that's 5-6 days of unexpected and unexplainable pain right after I thought I’d gotten rid of my main source of pain! It's maddening. In hindsight, I'm just glad it was only muscle pain and not something related to my kidney again.

Getting older and/or going through perimenopause also means I never have enough energy. I was a powerhouse of energy in my 30s. It feels impossible to keep up, much less get ahead, these days. I just do not have enough hustle in my bustle. Perhaps now is the time to start using cocaine! Nah, I'm not rich enough to buy cocaine.

📑 Project Updates

Limitations of AI

I showed you one of the fantastic “Boycott Billionaires” cards ChatGPT was designing for me. But I asked it to design the back of the cards, and it simply could not do anything other than a really crappy version. I asked it to try like a half dozen times, and it didn't really change anything. I’m not sure what I could’ve done better.

I ended up designing it myself in Canva using their included clipart.

There were a few specific billionaires that ChatGPT would not, under any circumstances and no matter how nicely I tried to manipulate it, create images for. One was Bill Gates. So, I thought I could just jump over to MidJourney with an example of one of the illustrations of the other billionaires and have it make me the exact same style of Gates. Sadly (and frustratingly), I could not get it to do that. It gave me lots of illustrations of Bill Gates but nothing that matched. It’s entirely possible I just don’t know the secret formula. I may have to leave out a selection of the more well known billionaires because of this.

Sometimes ChaptGPT will be rolling along and then get something wrong over and over again despite my helpful prompts. I asked it to create a downloadable file for one of the cards it had already created. Despite giving it the name of the billionaire, it kept giving me a totally different card like three times. Finally I told it to scroll back up to where I asked it to create that card and use the card it created. That worked.

I honestly think AI, instead of getting smarter and smarter, will get dumber and dumber. I honestly hope it does that so it will become unused, along with the trillions of gallons of water that's needed to power it.

I'm trying to get this card deck to 52 cards, but it's been a challenge. I want them each to be consumer focused, so the billionaires have to have a connection to at least one consumer product or service.

Once I'm done creating them with ChatGPT, then I need to verify that each one is really a billionaire and still connected to those products. Then, I think I'm going to pull them into Canva so they are all formatted correctly for printing. Then, I'm going to print 50-100 decks to sell at book fairs and probably online, even though that adds a layer of complexity with the shipping.

This has been an interesting process, and I'm excited about getting these out into the world and into people's hands. I'm hoping to have them in time for the Underground Book Fair at Jack Kerouac House in June.

Collage

The theme of my last collage postcards was “chaos.”

I even got Jesus and an anthropomorphic octopus in there.

Moving Update

There have been hardly any homes in my price range for sale in and around Troy, NY so far this year. I expect that more will come on the market as it's warming up there.

As is true everywhere, some of them are listed as “cash only" and some of the ones that aren't are still snatched up with cash. I can't compete with that, so it's a huge detriment to my home search. As if it's not a hard enough process.

My realtor said that some people even waive their right to an inspection to get the house they want. I cannot afford to do that. I can't buy a house and then realize something is very wrong with it.

I'm trying not to feel discouraged. I simply must make this happen this year. I'm ready to have my permanent residence outside of Florida, and I may not get approved for a mortgage again in the foreseeable future.

I have also been investigating building on the land I bought, but then I'd have to get approved for a building loan, and I think it would end up being much more expensive. (Especially given the off-again, on-again tariff situation.) It's possible I'll be able to sell that land for more than I bought it, and that would help me quite a bit.

⏰️ Currently

🎙 Scheduling more podcast appearances… My book ain't going to sell itself.

🚶‍♀️Trying to keep up with exercising every day.

🙍‍♀️ Feeling lonely as my friends all seem busy with other things.